Entry Twelve: and so The Adventure Begins

To be honest...

When I left India I had this romanticized opinion that I was gonna write this one and final blog post when I had my life together... when I started my new beginning, when I was teaching early childhood in a Massachusetts school system, living in apartment with a roommate somewhere, being social... being an adult or at least what most people think as "adulting" once they leave college. For what ever reason I wasn't terribly worried about finding a job, though I knew I would have to hustle once returning in May, I thought the apartment search would be quick once I knew where exactly I would be teaching, and finally I would be in Mass, I would be with my friends no longer 7,000 miles away with a 9 hour time difference.

Well...

Let me tell you...

Coming back from India was an experience all on its own. I don't quite remember all the details Gosh I think I've chosen to forget a lot of that time but I do remember some things. One, WESTERN TOILETS, EVERYWHERE, entering into public restrooms I was always a little surprised to find one rather than its eastern counterpart. Two, credit cards machines, not as easy to use as I remember them being, they ask a lot of questions and make loud beeping noises. But I guess both of these are the obvious, the overt, symptoms of the ever famous reverse culture shock, I guess what they don't tell you is mental. YES at first it was a whirlwind of family, friends and good old American pie culture. Almost like my first month of being in India I was just excited to be here. Frustration snuck up on me a couple of days later. Thoughts like “it would be so much easier to go abroad again” were common, especially when knee deep in the job search. Sluggishness was there too, admittedly jet lag was probably part of it (despite the layover in Dubai and Copenhagen), but it was more of a visceral feeling of exhaustion then a physical one. Cycling back and forth between the two with an odd productive day here and there was the struggle. Five weeks of it.

For someone who has not really stopped moving since... birth... those days were difficult. "Real life" didn't seem possible or at least it didn't feel like it was going to happen any time soon. the job search was screaming into a void of online applications with radio silence constantly buzzing in your ears. My friends, though excited about my return, also had their own lives to get to, the lives that they had built after college, one that I now had to figure out my part in after having "peaced out" for a year. Not to mention, I had PLENTY of time to think about all this.

In June something changed... it all started going back to Stonehill to assist in the orientation for the new India group, three wonderful individuals who already had a hitch in their new journey as they were supposed to leave in just three days but still had not received their visas. Looking back, I don't know what I would have done if I was in their shoes, but they all seemed to have a good spirit about them. It was a shock staying back at Stonehill, despite 10 months in India sometimes feeling like a blink of an eye, being back at Stonehill it felt like it had been years since I graduated. It became clear I was definitely no longer a college student, there were new service corp members so I was longer one of those either... so what was I? who was I?

Well apparently, I was a Day Camp Coordinator

If India taught me anything it would probably be: roll with it and you got this.

So when I got a call that my old summer camp needed a day camp coordinator, how could my answer not be yes. I had been working for a position like this for years and this was my dream job, I mean beside the one that I have a degree/license for. The only draw back was that my job search was still unsuccessful and that camp started in less then a week. It really was a no brainer.

The summer was incredible. Being a coordinator gives you the opportunity to make your impact that much bigger. No longer was it about my cabin of 10, but spread across all of Day Camp. That being said I went from limited responsibility in India to a staff of first year counselors, up to 55 campers a week, programs to plan and schedules to make. Culture shock and identity crisis aside, my green bead suddenly felt really heavy.

Proof that the universe has a sense of humor, I was often reminiscent of my first year on staff, where I was 17, no longer a camper but saddled with the responsibility of a counselor. Much like back then, in time, I was able to come into own. A mantra similar to Arya Stark's kill list came into fruition, mine however was more like a "Killin' it list." At the top was India and it was eventually joined by a series accomplishments: getting through the first week of Day Camp, working through a number of hiccups, driving a small bus, etc etc. As much as I could not have gone to India without summer camp, I could not have done summer camp 2019 without India.

Impactful as it was, it was temporary, a neutral identity and come end of season I would need to sort out next steps.And again, I was back to being 17, everyone asking me what I was doing next year and unfortunately the answer to that question was not nearly as obvious or preplanned as it was back then.

Yet again with the attitude of someone who recently returned from India, keep up the pretense that "It'll all work out" was crucial, even when absolutely convinced it wouldn't.

And so The Adventure Begins.

My end of summer mirrored my beginning of summer almost to a T. First was the travel. What was initially supposed to be an overnight ended up being 4 days worth of interviews hopping hotels so that I did go back and forth from CT. It was the last interview that I went to, at the end of that weekend, that I got a job. 2nd Grade at a catholic school in Dorchester, Boston. Pretty much exactly what I was looking for, but school started in less then a week, and in this case I didn't even really have a place to live. But with an Indian sense of community some of my dad's old college friends were okay with a temporary boarder. Or... not so temporary... despite it being October, things are still working themselves out, every day is a new day. And I get to see it, each and every day, I get to see the sunrise over the city of Boston and the sunset over the nearby park, its moments like that, why I keep going. I keep going for my students, a rag tag group of 14 who are fabulous humans.

Yes its not prefect, it not what I thought it would be when I imagined myself coming back from India. In my classroom, I use the phrase "work in progress" and I use it often. What I don't think I realized while I was abroad was that I learned yet another important lesson. I am not perfect. You are not going to be prepared for everything. As long as you are doing your very best and are continuing to work on yourself, that's the only thing anyone can really ask. I learned that I was a work in progress and that I needed to be okay with that. I could not be more thankful for everything that my time in India did for me and everyday I try to incorporate all the lessons I learned into American living.Thank you so much for following me through out this journey it has meant more then you know.

So this is me, where I am, 15 months after my first blog post and I am signing off, retiring from the travel blog key board, but who knows, you might just hear from me again

P.S.

If you want to keep up with all things India I attached Marytza and Taylor's blogs while Marytza, Taylor, and Dan are in India on their own journeys

https://mompointmarytza.wixsite.com/yearinindia?fbclid=IwAR2iqKvBNnIf5BVCu5oqmqnE1j1huBTP8xcdmR1kddop8TAoNH_FL6FGGa0

https://whaleyta.wixsite.com/waitwhat?fbclid=IwAR3z4B3RP_ZGUAN3-ukAdq0IDCqQr9KhN1iVKbJ6gl-qGdeJz9wvn05rbW0

Dubai